It was a normal day by all accounts, but John just wasn’t feeling  himself. He was a little lightheaded and out of sorts. Later in the afternoon, he experienced a sharp pain in his chest and arm. Quick thinking and action brought John to the emergency department with a diagnosis of a significant heart attack. Surviving this ordeal, he found himself face to face with his cardiologist, having an honest conversation about things that needed to change. “I came close to death,” John found himself thinking. Then came the remorse. He was a young man with a loving wife and children who were very close to facing life without him. John found himself with intense sorrow for living an unchecked and self-indulgent life that almost brought him to his demise. He wanted to change.
We all have our wake-up calls. We have experiences and encounters that force us to really think twice about choices we have made and directions we have taken. Often, we find ourselves looking at those we have hurt square in the eye and wallowing in our foolishness.  We regrettably realize that we have allowed our needs to lure us into making some cruel mistakes. We impulsively say things and flippantly do things that reveal our unredeemed and unhealed self. It is a self we stumble over and try to tame but can’t quite seem to master and control. Help!
We spin our wheels, naively thinking that we will somehow, perhaps through persistence, get ourselves unstuck. But, we don’t. We just get out of the car, feeling very helpless, and ignorantly look at the mess we got ourselves into. Did we ever think to ask someone for help? Or, taken the advice of One who is wiser and avoid this route altogether? “Come after me,” are words that Jesus says to all of us. In order to heed his invitation, we must leave our ego-self behind and follow.
When we really see and understand the freedom, peace, justice, and love he offers, we find ourselves with such sorrow in our hearts for how foolish and silly we have been. All the misguided choices and sinful actions come full view and we see how risky our random impassioned behaviors really have been. Repentance is beautiful. When done with a sincere and contrite heart, it directs us to the glory that can be ours, ignites us with the challenge of living a life in service of others and reminds us that all is well. ©LPi